I turned 61 this morning, sitting in silence, I watched the seconds tick up to the time of my arrival. My mother said the back door blew off the house the day I was born; it was a blustery day in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.
I never thought that I’d last this long, the late 70s and early 80s were a time of experimentation for me on many levels, burn the candle at both ends, leave a beautiful corpse, such a silly young woman.
My phone notifies me that someone, somewhere is sending me Birth Day wishes, it’s gives me an odd sort of comfort as the day goes on. My 84 year old ukulele student called and sang me Happy Birthday, I love him as the Grandfather I never knew.
Basura cat shadows me though-out the house, under my feet, upon my lap, funny how cats can sense the present tension of the unknown that hangs in the air. I keep telling her that everything is okay, but she keeps telling me something different.
Two new friends, both students sent me something via Amazon, damned if I know how to open it, they said it’s part of the present, the learning.
My favorite, gave me a book of my Musings, imagine that, I’m an author! She keeps telling me that I’ve got a million dollar bestseller inside my head, perhaps she’s right, only time and discipline will tell.
My contractors remodeling my guest bathroom just sang me, Happy Birthday; it was off key and kind. They say they’ll be finished today as my present, sweet!
I thought of putting up a posting on social media with a picture of toilet paper and hand wipes with the caption: “What I want for my Birthday”, but then decided not to, trying to honor the seriousness of our current situation.
Watching the world react to The Corona Virus is startling, it’s like watching that scene from the Wizard Of Oz, “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” It’s like a curtain is slowly falling and we’re getting to see “the man.” It’s so easy to judge, to criticise what everybody’s doing, but I keep thinking: “How could they know what do to when we’ve never been here before?”
I don’t want to use my Muse as a political platform, so I’ll let go of what I can’t change, change what I can and hopefully know the difference between the two.
I’ve decided not to go into the music store where I teach, to cancel my lessons for many reasons, mainly because I have an immune disorder and would rather err on the side of caution rather than confidence.
My gigs are being canceled, but that’s cool, I’ll make music at home, write, teach one on one and maybe start on that book.
What do I want for my Birth Day?
I want to share my wish with you, my friends, family, the world.
So, I imagine blowing out the candles on a huge, beautiful cake
Breath in, huge exhale out and in my mind, thinking:
“May we be safe, everyone. May we be brave, everyone.
May we be kind, everyone. May we have enough, everyone
May we be calm, everyone. May we be strong, everyone
May we be smart, everyone. May we have good health, everyone
May we share love, everyone. May we have faith, everyone”
This too shall pass; it’s just a matter of time. How we choose to spend that time, in our thoughts, actions, our hearts is solely up to us.
I find that I’m calling people, instead of texting. It just feels like I need more of a human connection for the moment, as they turn into minutes, into days.
As I’m a novice writer, wondering if I did publish, would you buy a copy?
Peace my friends ~ if you need me, I am here. Until we meet again, much love always, your Birth Day Girl ~ Katrina Jeanne 3/16/59 #girlwithguitar
Today’s Musing: “God Bless Us, Everyone” ~ quote by Tiny Tim by Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”